Have you ever wondered why when getting a massage sometimes the pain can feel more satisfying then the pleasant gentle touch? When the masseuse finds the knots on your back and kneads right into the muscle to release them, and although it is painful at the same time you can't think of anything more satisfying.
Now why is this? Why can pain feel so good? And why is it that sex can feel this exact same way? Why do people wince when they stub their toe but moan in pleasure from being choked, spanked and whipped?
Well, as the saying goes, there is a fine line between pleasure and pain.
Pain causes the central nervous system to release endorphins, which generate an opiate-like response in the body. The role of endorphins is to block pain, but can also produce a feeling of euphoria. Many athletes know this as the runner's high.
But while many of us feel elated after running, very few of us feel pleasure after stubbing our toe.
So what exactly distinguishes good pain from bad? Is it the sensation itself, or something going on in our brains?
Well, for a start, it's all about context. If you partcipate in S&M and were spanked during sex, it'll feel good. But if you were suddenly slapped when walking down the street it would hurt and probably frighten you.
The actual feeling of the spank and slap may be the same, but one is pleasurable because it's expected and safe and understood, whereas the other one is unpleasant because it indicates danger.
In other words, our experience of pain is less about the actual physical experience, and more about our interpretation of the sensation.
There are a few psychological factors to distinguishing good pain from bad. The first is anticipation.
For example, someone who participates in S&M knows that to expect, they know what choking feels like during sex so can enjoy the pain without being alarmed. Whereas, if you were walking down the street with your partner and they began to choke you, it would be shocking and clearly a sign that something was very wrong.
So here lies the key to enjoying pain: trust and control. If you are in a loving committed relationship, you trust that your partner will keep your best interest at heart and stop anytime you want. You wouldn't enjoy rough sex with a person who had hurt you before or you didn't trust.
An S&M relationship is based on trust, where the masochist (receiver) is in control and trusts the sadist (giver) to take care of them. Without all of that, it would be classified as abuse and you wouldn't be finding any pain pleasurable.
So if you have ever found yourself enjoying being choked, spanked, scratched, bitten or anything else, you have probably experienced the blurring lines between pleasure and pain.
There is no need to be concerned, or think you are unusual... they are far more similar then you think!